#ding dong ditch your hellspawn

[verfound]

FIC: How to Nab a Babysitter: Couffaine Style (MLB; Lukanette; House Band)

Rating: T / PG-13 / Teen

Characters/Pairings: Harmony Couffaine(OC), Juleka Couffaine, Luka Couffaine, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Melody Couffaine (OC), Violet Couffaine (OC); Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Juleka Couffaine/Rose Lavillant

Summary: Luka had planned everything for their anniversary…except the babysitter.  Good thing Dingo had played a relatively harmless prank a bit back that gives him the perfect idea of how to procure one last minute.

Author’s Notes/Warnings: Quick knows what she did.  😝  See.  She likes to send me little videos, from Insta and FB and such, that I still click, and them BAM.  If y’all are wondering how the HB portion of the Hoard is doing, Quick has personally trained my Insta to throw these vids at me.

I think this is also the first time Juleka and Rose’s Flower Garden has made an appearance?  I’ve had them plotted out for ages now, but they have not actually worked their way into a fic yet.  There are seven of them total, but featured here are Violet (their only biological child), Iris, and their twins, Lavender and Basil.  (Rowan is technically alive at this point – he’d be around four – but he is not adopted until he’s nine.)

“How to Nab a Babysitter: Couffaine Style”

Fred didn’t get paid enough to deal with this shit.

The job at the delivery company was supposed to be temporary, anyway.  Something to get him through until he finally got his big break and could stop playing coffee shops on the…well, weeknights, as he wasn’t actually well-known enough to scrape together weekends.  Or…well, good enough, if you asked the owner of the little shop, but not everyone could be Luka Friggin Couffaine, right?  Some people had to work for it!

And when he had seen the name on his third delivery of the day, he had actually been…well, a little excited.  There weren’t that many Couffaines in Paris, right?  It couldn’t be a coincidence, right?  So maybe Fred had gotten a little excited.  Maybe he had even been hoping the man himself would be home, and he could play him something (he always carried his trusty accordion in the back, anyway), and maybe M. Couffaine would be so impressed he’d actually offer him a contract, and…

…what he hadn’t been expecting – after struggling to lift the box that easily weighed as much as a small person, waddling it up to the door of the apartment complex, somehow opening the door without setting the box down, struggling over to the lift, and then managing to make it all the way up to the flat at the end of the third floor without dropping and breaking anything – was for Luka Couffaine himself to be standing outside said flat, checking a stack of mail as he fiddled with his keys.  He also hadn’t expected the rock star to take one look at him, throw the mail above his head, and shout: “Oh, HELL NO, asshole – not tonight!”

Before slipping inside the flat and slamming the door in his face.